it’s getting a bit heavy in here…

I was reading through my blog posts last night and it struck me, “man – I sound like a philosophical heavy-weight” If you know me in real life you know that I’m not quite as deep and philosophical as my thoughts on this blog. Let me introduce you to my lighter side.

Around our house there are very often Patty’isms’ and word balls that make no sense at all…well in my head they do. It was almost a daily occurrence at my old job that my co-workers and I would laugh our a**es off at how my mind works. A few examples:

On Saturday Tucker and I got home after the walk and I was telling Eric all about our day.

patty: “It was so cool honey, there were all the local who’s who there shaking hands with all the walkers and runners, and just before we got to Buzz Aldrin the memory card got full!”

eric: Buzz Aldrin, hey?

patty: yeah, you know the Marquette Basketball coach?

eric: *laughing hysterically* you mean Buzz Williams?

patty: *non-nonchalantly* yeah, that’s what I said Buzz whatever.

At a Brewers game a few years ago we went with another couple and I was reading the scoreboard

patty: it’s kinda weird that that guy’s name is spelled with an apostrophe in the middle.

everyone else: *laughing* patty that means his name was too long to fit on one line on the scoreboard

patty: hmm, learn something new everyday

This game was also $1 hot dog days where I indulged

doug: patty I’ll give you $5 to eat another hot dog

patty: doug, that’s gross

doug: clearly, cause 9 hot dogs is so ladylike

patty: duh.

When I was induced with Tucker I was sitting on my hospital bed talking with Jon & Kristin and Eric and my water broke:

patty: ah, I am peeing in my pants…oh my gosh I can’t stop peeing, I can’t stop peeing!!

kristin: patty your water just broke

patty: no I can’t stop peeing!

*i really don’t understand why I had to have someone tell me that I wasn’t peeing but my water broke – duh, I had gotten induced a few hours before.*

On the way to the Matchbox Twenty concert in Milwaukee with my best college bud and made a turn when the light was red from a one way street

tiffany: dude, the light was red

patty: uh, i know i made a right turn

tiffany: really? a right turn, cause i’m pretty sure that you made a left turn

patty: hmm, well it seemed like a right turn on a one way street

These are just a few of my pattyisms. A glance into the lighter side of me, the real me, the quirky, silly, living in the gray because black and white is for people who are good at math side of me. Hope you enjoy the lighter side (:

Dear Tucker,

This blog is all about the real me, the one you see everyday and giggle at. When I was pregnant your dad wanted me to keep our conversations to a minimum because he was afraid that you would come out saying some of the crazy things I do! I hope that you can grow up to laugh at your shortcomings the way that I do. I find pleasure and humor in the fact that my mind doesn’t always work the way it should. I think that somedays I still look at the world with the innocence of a child, or at least that’s what I tell myself. I love jabbering with you and making funny faces with you, you giggle when I dance around off beat and smile when I say something kinda dumb. You’re such a great kid Tucker – I love being your mom (:

♥

mom

regrets.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who lives with the regrets of things that they didn’t do.  I have lots, some are mundane – like I totally shouldn’t have had that 3rd cup of coffee today, some are a little less mundane – I wish I would have scheduled 3 month pictures for Tucker with McManigal Photography he changed SOOO much from his newborn to his 6 month pictures, and then there are some that I beat myself up for and tear up when I think about them.  I have 2 that are the biggest regrets that I have.

1. Missing my Grandpa’s last birthday here on earth.  I had started the worst job ever, not that long before his birthday party, and the feeling of commitment to my responsibilities was overwhelming…it’s what my dad had taught me, and calling in sick when I wasn’t just didn’t seem right.  There’s always next year.  I’ll see grandpa soon.  My grandpa got very sick very fast and a few weeks after this birthday party he died.  I live with the regret that I missed that party.  I vowed that I wouldn’t put work before my family again and when I had a gut feeling that I should be somewhere I would be there.  My grandpa is a great man, he built a successful business with my dad.  Because of him and his dedication and commitment to his son and work ethics, my dad and mom provided a life for my brother sister and I where needed for nothing.  I will live with that regret forever, and even though my family has said that there is no way I could have known, that doesn’t soften the blow of what I missed.

2.  Thinking that going to Owen’s funeral would be too impersonal because I had never met Owen or any of his family…I along with 26,000 others met them through a blog.  I remember June 1st, 2011 vividly.  Again I went back and forth about leaving work early to attend the service for a little boy who I read about who’s mom invited everyone who read his story to come pay their respects, cry a little, and join forces for Owen’s last earthly warrior battle.  Years ago when I missed grandpa’s birthday I vowed to listen to my gut, but yet again I didn’t.  I had one article of orange clothing in my wardrobe it was a scarf that Kristin bought for me, I wore black with a bright orange scarf and dressed Tucker in an orange polo, jeans, and orange socks.  We took our picture and posted it on the Orange For Owen website.  I thought that would be enough to satisfy the voice in my head saying Go…the tears you have shed for this little stranger are worthy of your presence there – even if it’s only for you go!  I quieted the voice and trudged on through my day doing the daily tasks that my job requires.  This weekend I met another blogger – a blogger who has written beautiful words about Owen, and he too didn’t know Owen or Mel but he did have an actual tie to the family, his SIL is one of Mel’s good good friends.  His words touched my heart and tweeked at my 2nd major regret.  I am now good friends with Mel and adore her family, when we were making cake pops the story of Owen’s funeral was told, my Mel and her mom, how the music was chosen, the bagpiper, how Doug carried Owen’s casket for his final earthly march, and how the entire church was one giant sea of OWENGE.  I should have been there, I should have listened to my gut – it was God trying to nudge me to go – my mind wasn’t open to hearing his words, but I don’t think he could have yelled any louder at me.  When Mel, the boys and her parents were at my parents house they were telling how Logan and Weston just seemed to suddenly realize that they were there and when Owen was in the hospital began needing to touching each other, my mom asked if I met Mel at the funeral, and I sheepishly said no, I wasn’t there. Immediately went into excuse mode, then realized that I did that because I was embarrassed and didn’t want Mel to know that I wasn’t there.  I wish that I would have had the courage to go, to show Mel that back then when I didn’t know her I cared, Owen’s story struck me and I wanted them to know I’d continue to spread his story.  I am, I tell his story and have helped to create celebrations of his life, but at the end of some days that feels like a band aid.  I know it has been great days for me and them, but I wish I would have been there that day.

I suppose that I should give thanks that my regrets aren’t that I had indiscretions in my marriage, or that I am an addict, I stole, I  embezzled, I cheated, I beat my child, or that I am doing things that would make the ones I love loose respect for me, it’s just things that I know I SHOULD have done that have really only effected me.  I’m only 29 and I am sure that there will be more regrets in my life, but I hope that they fall into the mundane to a little less mundane category.  I have learned that little voice in my head paired with that feeling in my gut knows what it’s talking about.  I’m gonna listen a little closer, it my be the voice of God taking time to tell me something I may not know.

Dear Tucker,

 

It’s inevitable that we all have regrets in our lives.  I pray that the regrets that you face will make you a stronger person and do not hurt the ones that you love.  I vow to do all I can do to raise you as the responsible, honorable, strong and compassionate man I know you can be.  Please do not beat yourself up for your regrets, learn from them and listen to the voice in your head and the obey the feeling in your gut.  It’s a powerful guide for each of us.  Love your God, your family, and friends and live each day like it could be your last and maybe you won’t have as many regrets as I do.  I love you – my favorite blessing. 

 

♥

mom

For Owen…we marched in owenge

A few months ago the flyer for the Brigg’s & Al’s Walk/Run for Children’s Hospital of WI came to work and my sister put it on my desk.  The funny thing about this was that not long before this I prayed with all my heart and soul for God to use me to help the process of healing for the Bissing family who lost their middle triplet Owen when he was 6 months old…the light went on in my head and I asked Mel if she’d be okay if I tried to organize a team to walk/run for Owen.  She said that’d be great.  I asked if anyone wanted to be a co-captain and Mandy stepped right up. That seems like a million years ago…but that was just this past July.  The wheels began rolling and wow, did we accomplish so much since then.

A week before the walk Mandy picked up all 60+ shirts for our team members and a wonderful group of girls and babies gathered to turn our plain white t’s into works of OWENGE art.  Here is the before and after:

So Saturday, September 17, 2011 was an INSANE morning for us, just so much to do and so little time to do it.  Tucker is in a needy mommy stage which makes doing life a bit more difficult.  We made it out of the house and on our way, about 30 minutes later than I wanted, but we were out…met Eric at the park n ride, dropped off my car at the Summerfest Grounds, and into Eric’s car where he dropped us off at the family drop zone.  Our team was easy to find, they were a while back from the start line which made us one of the last groups in the walk.

We took our team picture chatted with everyone and off we went.  We were about 8 steps into the race when one of the most intense emotions surged through my body.  It made me weak.  I can’t even tell you which emotion was felt the deepest…pride, sadness, heart-ache, enlightment, strength, gratefulness, or awe.  There were 18,000 people walking and running – there were THOUSANDS of stories about families who’s children walked out the doors of Children’s feeling better and families who have been left to find a new normal walking out those same doors without their children.  The gratefulness that I felt that my Tucker hasn’t seen those doors was overwhelming and tears began to form.  I looked up and saw our banner with little Owen’s picture on it and his theme: OWENGE the color of a warrior.  I was so proud that God nudged me to start the process to gather a good sized crew to march for Owen.  I looked around and saw Mel and her sister and brother walking linked arm and arm marching for their warrior. 

I never knew Owen in life, but have loved learning about his story from Mel.  He was the chill baby, just content to be there, smiley and happy, and was the chunky monkey of the crew.  I  have learned about Owen’s life and love him as much as a person who’s only known him through his mother can…I can’t imagine what the Medals and Bissings were feeling Saturday.  It’s so bittersweet, you never want to have to walk in memory of someone, but if you do you want it to be the best it could be, and Saturday was for us.  My cousin Tricia came and marched with us, it was so awesome to get to spend some time with just her…she’s so amazing with Tucker and he adores her.  Tricia said that she could feel that feeling of everything too when we started walking.  This overwhelming love for this little bitty dude, who’s bringing so many people together to continue to do good in this world through him.   There were a plethora of local ‘celebrities’ there, the Miller Park Racing Sausages, the Marquette Basketball players (boys and girls and coaches) the UWM cheerleaders, a lot of company and sports mascots, among many local bands playing music on the sides of the street while we walked.  It would be quiet just long enough to catch your breath before another wave of pride and awe came over you.  I knew it wasn’t just me when we came upon the Marquette cheerleaders who were also tearing up looking at the crowd of 18,000 all marching for their warriors on earth and heaven.

Mel has talked about an orange monarch butterfly that has appeared at all different times, at the lake house, around their house, at events.  There was one orange monarch butterfly that was floating around my house the day we made cake pops for Owen’s fundrasier at Bilda’s, it was there when we gathered to tie dye our t-shirts owenge, and during our walk it was there through almost the entire walk following our team.  Here is the owenge monarch posing for a picture among the owenge flowers on the route.  For those who don’t believe in God they may say it’s just a coincidence.  I know better, it’s God and Owen telling us that they are proud of the work we are doing in Owen’s name.  We are working on earth to do God’s work as Owen’s Warriors.  This little butterfly is a sign from them…I just know it, I have faith that Owen’s legacy and journey will continue as long as we keep doing the Lord’s will.  This little butterfly flying so gracefully amongst our team members was a little glimpse of light painted the color OWENge.

After the walk we attended a Thank You cookout at Mel’s mom and dad’s house.  It was a wonderful relaxing afternoon in the beautiful sun at their beautiful house filled with love and memories of a wonderful family.  As we pulled out of the driveway Tucker passed out cold.  I must say we ended the day exhausted, it’s amazing how just 3 miles and a million tons of emotions can simply exhaust you.  Next year’s date has already been set, put it on your calendars and come march as one of Owen’s Owenge Warrior Walkers in the Brigg’s & Al’s Run/Walk for CHW on September 15, 2012…see you at the start line.

       

Dear Tucker,

 

On Saturday we were part of a VERY special day, we marched in memory of Owen. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this family has impacted me as a mother to you.  They are truly blessings to us.  It is inevitable that we will also face sad and heartbreaking days in our lives, may we go through them with the same grace and faithfulness that the Bissings and Medals have.  I will strive to be the kind of mom that teaches you about faith and God, and I pray that Owen’s monarch will flutter around you too.  I am so glad that you also are getting to be one of Owen’s warriors.  May we both learn all that God wants us to learn through His warrior Owen, how precious and fragile life is, and how to love one another.  There are many people who may read Owen’s story and become paranoid that what happened to him could happen to their child.  I choose to read Owen’s story and live my life so that every second of it is spend telling you and my loved ones how much I love them, that if there isn’t a tomorrow, I won’t live thinking about what I should have done different.  It’s easy to tell you that as I see your smiling face and touch your warm cheeks, but I truly believe that God is good and although bad things happen, they are all part of a greater plan.  So today, I’m gonna hug you extra close, and rock you to sleep and say our prayers when I lay you down, “Now I lay you down to sleep…I pray the Lord your soul to keep…Guide you safely through the night…and wake you with His morning light.  Amen”  Good night my sweet baby, I love you Tucker James. 

 

♥

mom

 

9 months, already??

Oh my goodness – Tucker turned 9 months old on Tuesday, where could the time possibly have gone? It seems like it was yesterday that Eric and I were checking into the hospital as husband and wife, and 3 days later we left as mom and dad. Time is a funny thing, when you want it to speed up it seems to take FOREVER and when you want it to slow down it just FLIES by!

In month 8 there were a ton of changes in Tucker -

First and foremost he became mobile. He’s a crawling machine and not the army crawl drag his belly along the floor; the on all four hands and knees sailing around the house into EVERYTHING kind of crawling. There isn’t enough babyproofing to keep him safe from bumps and bruises.

We have teeth! The two teeth on the bottom have been sitting there ready to pop since his 4 month check up. They finally sprouted along with the BIGGEST giant front left tooth. It’s mammouth – I hope it’ll be cute in his 9 month pictures next week. Sometimes just a few teeth look awkward, I know superficial mom here!

Dexterity, Tucker’s dexterity has improved 10 fold. He can pick up even the smallest specs of anything he finds on the floor, but more importantly he’s become an expert on eating like a big boy. Although I still puree his foods, I am getting a bit more adventurous with giving him real people food in the consistency we eat it. I just cut it up in very small pieces so if he can’t gum it all the way he can still eat it. Although he’s quite good at chewing, given that he hasn’t shoved too much in his mouth.

He’s also just beginning the MOMMY stage. I am the sunrise and sunset to that kid, it’s painfully obvious that he is an only child. We have had a few playdates with a friend who has triplets and Tucker is the smallest guy and the boys just want to play but he’s not quite used to the fact that they have no concept of personal space, while Tucker likes his personal bubble. He’s much like his Auntie in that regard. Although he’s quite good at sharing his binky box which is filled with about 20 different pacifiers and the boys all take turns taking them out, putting them in their mouth and then discarding to the floor.

Commands, I know this again sounds like training the dog, but this month Tucker has become very responsive when you say his name, he knows who he is and a plethora of other people, he knows Mom, Dad, Papa, Granny, Grandma, Auntie, Uncle Matt, Emma, Miss Sam, among many others. He also understands No. As a mover and shaker this command is crucial to things in our house, No No Tucker – leave Bogey alone, No No Tucker leave bogey’s food alone, No No Tucker leave Bogey’s dirty turtle alone. Are you seeing a theme, he loves all things bogey! Poor dog. Eric and I are both working hard rather than saying no, trying to make it positive, Tucker – be nice to bogey – we then open his hand and show him how to be nice. It kinda works.

He’s an official kisser. This month he started baby kissing everyone he loves. As one of my friend’s son puts it, “that’s about the cutest baby thing ever!” I think so too!

Well that’s what’s happened over the last month. I wonder what life will bring in month 9…wow 9 months already, who would have believed it could go by so fast! Here are Tucker’s 9 month stats from our pediatrician appointment today:

Height – 27.5″ 18%

Weight 18lbs 13.2oz 38%

Dear Tucker,

 

You’re 9 months old already! Your dad and I cannot believe how fast you’ve grown up. You are getting to be more of a real life person everyday. You are becoming so much more interactive and fun now. It’s become a bit more exhausting being your mom, as I am the one you need to be clinging too whenever I am around right now, but I know that this need for me is a fleeting need, and this mama is eating it up! I love the way that you love me, I love your boogery open mouth kisses, and the way you smile and interact with the world. You make me such a proud mama bear! I pray that your dad and I will continue to be proud of all that you do in the world, and when the day comes that bad decisions are made, may we be given the tools to steer you in the right direction. You make our lives a joy – I love you Tucker James.

 

♥

 

mom

September 11, 2011

Everyone has a story, where they were, what they were doing, where everyone that they loved were, I remember September 11, 2001 like it was yesterday.  I was in college at UWGB, just about to enter the cafeteria to get some delicious french toast breakfast and saw the live news coverage on a TV just outside the cafeteria when the second plane hit.  I was in awe along with a slew of my fellow students.  I went to work that day at the Weidner Center when I got a call from my brother, saying that my mom was on a flight heading to Washington DC with a group of local women.  They had not heard from her and planes are going down all over.  Fear gripped my chest, I was frozen.  I told him to call me with any news, hung up the phone, and immediately began bawling.  My boss, a typical man, was trying to console me, and allowed me to move to back away from the ticket window, and to breathe.

It was a few hours before I heard from my family.  A million thoughts ran through my head, “she’s heading to where the terriorists want to be, Milwaukee is such a remote place, why  not come from there?”  I prepared myself for the worst, but prayed, so hard for the best.  My dad called me, and said that my mom’s plane was making an emergency landing in Iowa.  The relief that overcame me, was more than I’d ever felt before. I am aware that someday I will have to go on without my mom, but I wasn’t ready September 11, 2001.  But will I ever be ready?  No, but that is something that isn’t my decision to make.  God makes those decisions.

The feeling of our country united in mourning the loss of 2,976 men, women, and children was unfathomable, especially after the rocky election just months earlier.  We were for that time not a country of Republicans, Democrats, and Independents, we were ONE NATION UNDER GOD.  What a thought, what a vision.  It’s what Martin Luther King, Jr. dreamed of and spoke of…our country united together not looking at race, religion, gender, politics – we were a grieving nation united in God’s bigger picture – Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” – John 13:7  It’s hard to understand why things happen sometimes, but God has a plan and is in control.  What a difficult concept especially this day, but trust in God is all we have.

On September 11, 2001 I had no idea that I was alive when history was being made, and that day will be in Tucker’s high school history books.  I was old enough, 19, to grasp the horror, evilness, cruelty, and injustice, of the world that day.  Real life history, those pictures all over the news, I remember like it was yesterday being all over everything.  My college roomate and I both got extreme cases of the flu on September 16, 2001 and there wasn’t a single channel that was playing anything but coverage of the terrorists attacks and the recovery efforts.  History in the making, the world hasn’t been the same since, and I for one have no problem getting checked head to toe, stripped to the bones at the airport if it will prevent another tragic day like September 11, 2001 – after all if you have nothing to hide why all the fuss about being checked?

Dear Tucker,

 

Today 10 years ago was the saddest day America has faced in the history of our great nation.  It is a day that we remember the 2,976 men, women, and children who perished because of terrorists.  As I write this note to you, I am trying to find a way to sugar-coat or make what happened that day softer for you to hear, but the truth is there is no way to shield you from the evils of this world – especially the evils we faced on September 11, 2001.  As we watched the families see their loved ones names on the new memorial waterfalls, we could see that the pain of their losses was as fresh 10 years later as it was that day.  Evil is something that we cannot escape, but when faced with the perils of this world – please turn to God, pray for guidance and know that He will see you through.  When the bottom is hit, faith may seem like something that isn’t enough – it’s not a tangible thing that can physically wrap it’s arms around you and whisper that it’s going to be okay, but I promise you it is more than you can ever believe it to be.  God is a wonderful God and he loves you more than one in the entire world, even your dad and I.  We love you the most out of anyone on earth, and would lay down our lives for you, but your relationship with God must remain a pillar in your life.  Know that his ultimate plan will reveal itself when His time is right.  When you read about this day in your high school history books, I will tell you about what I saw, felt, and remember – and we will also pray for the grieving families and give thanks for the armed forces fighting against the evils in this world so evil cannot touch our lives in the same way again.  I love you Tucker James.

 

♥

mom

Our little piece of Heaven on Earth

Our family is fortunate enough to have a lake house.  Well actually it’s my parents cottage, but they are generous enough to share it with us – well when it’s not a no kids weekend.  This weekend was family weekend, although Eric couldn’t come up because he had to work, we still had a great time!  Here is a peak at what we get to see every night at the cottage.

 

That’s a sunset off our veranda…doesn’t it actually look like a little piece of Heaven on earth?  It’s so nice to just get away to the north woods and away from the hustle and bustle of our busy life down here.  Tucker did awesome on the 5 hour ride up and back.  He’s such a trooper…and bogey is the BEST car riding dog ever!  We set up his pillow on the floor and he slept the ride away.  Tucker did need some entertainment when he was awake, and on the way up my mom kept turning around and playing peek a boo with him, her back paid the price though, but who could resist this smile? I know that I couldn’t…but when you labor a child, you tend to be a bit bias!

Vacations with Tucker are something that Eric and I are just not used to, much less me without Eric.  Without my family to help with the baby and the dog, it would have been miserable.  Until your parenting partner isn’t there you don’t realize how often they are of help to you, especially now that he’s mobile.  Vacations with Tucker are just other places that we do the same thing.  Since Tucker was about 7 weeks old he has been, by Dr. Hankins, opinion sleeping through the night.  Which is stretches lasting 7 hours, I believe.  He set his own schedule early on, and we just followed his cues.  He’s up for about 2 hours and then rubs his eyes and tugs at his ears, which is his tired cues, and takes a 1 – 3 hour morning nap.  If he wakes up crying then he wasn’t quite done with his nap, but tough luck cause he’s up now.  Around noon he goes down for his afternoon nap which is usually 2 -3 hours.  He then eats dinner around 5 bath around 6 and is down for the night around 7.  It’s beautiful, and he did it himself and as his parents, Eric and I are not going to fight him on that.  Although it has been a major wet rag on our social life, it makes for a happy baby which equals happy mom and dad.  It’s actually kinda nice, after Tucker goes down it’s time for just Eric and I, well Bogey too.  It’s quiet down time or time to grocery shop, or just get out of the house by myself.  Someone is of course watching Tucker, well watching TV while he sleeps.  It’s difficult to others who we want to spend time with who don’t have babies, or don’t remember what it was like to have a young baby.  Eric and very much respect that Tucker has set his own schedule and we do our best to follow it, we’re all happier that way.  But taking a vacation totally kills that!

Tucker’s afternoon nap went from 1ish to 4ish, and bedtime was much later the first two nights, which led to a long night of up every few hours, neither him nor I are used to sleeping in the same room.  By night 3 we got it down, but by then we were exhausted!  It never ceases to amaze me how much stuff you have to bring when you’re going somewhere new with a baby.  I definitely take for granted how much we have at the house for him, my in laws have a lot of stuff there, and my mom does too…but travel beyond there and it’s quite a car load.  And that’s just one kid!

here's my dad and me with my 27" northern - Tucker in utero helped too (:

The long weekend was wonderful though, we had all the things we needed, my mom bought Tucker a walker at the Pamida, his own pack and play, a high chair, stroller, and an outside swing that we hang inside from the rafters so he can swing and look at the lake through the patio doors.  I can’t wait til he’s a little bit older and can really appreciate all the fun things that we can only do up there, pontoon boat rides, fishing, boating, long lake swimming, berry picking, and just good quality family time away from internet and the constant noise of the TV. There is even an eagle’s nest and we quite often get to see the eagles flying around, they usually circle around bogey thinking he’d make a good appetizer – which FREAKS me out.  I remember many nights up north where the inspector (my dad) would come down with the headband flashlight before bed and bounce the mattresses my cousins and I were sleeping on, while we laughed hysterically!  I remember fishing for hours with my dad, and more pancake breakfasts than I could ever count.  I have the fondest memories with my family up at our cottage, and this weekend was no exception…it was cold, my OWENGE sweatshirt that I ran back into the house to grab came in handy just about every night, but it didn’t matter, my family O was all there with some of our family new.

Dear Tucker,

 

I have so many wonderful memories up at the cottage with your grandpa, grandma, uncle DJ and Auntie.  I hope that you enjoy your time up there as you grow up as much as I am.  There will come a time in your life where life away from all the amenities you are accustomed to will sound lame and a week up north will suck, but we’re gonna drag you up there anyway…just like grandma and grandpa did to me.  I hope that you’ll always love going up there, we will make sure to do all the most wonderful family adventures with you up there.  God has blessed our family with this wonderful destination, that is a little piece of Heave on earth.  Maybe the inspector will make a surprise appearance for you and your cousins someday.  I love sharing all that God has given us with you.  You’re such a gift to me.  I love you Tucker Tot!

 

♥

mom

Matthew 25:31-45

So I joined a 6 week bible study group led by a great friend of mine with a few other young moms like me. I am really looking forward this, I’ve never been part of something with other young moms through church before. I am part of a leadership bible study at my church, but I know this will be different. So the first session is on Matthew 25. I am using my dads study bible up north and the description of 25:31-46 intrigues me, makes me think, how can I do this better? “to treat all persons we encounter as if they are Jesus is no easy task. What we do for others demonstrates what we really think about Jesus’ words to us…how well do your actions separate you from the pretenders and unbelievers?”

Wow! What a powerful statement. As most are from THE book. But treat everyone as if they were Jesus. What a difficult task, turn the other cheek when you are wronged or hurt. Love one another with the love Jesus showed even to his murderers and those who betrayed him, is such an overwhelming and daunting task. I am working on being a better Christian – from the inside. Being a mom makes me what to do that, so I can show Tucker and not just tell him how to do it. I think that this small group is going to do good things for me, my soul, my friendships, and my faith. Thank you God for my life, and may I live it in a way to make you proud and go forth as one of your warriors. Amen.

Dear Tucker Tot,

 

As I watch you sleeping peacefully in your bed I am reading from the most important book ever written. I pray that I can be a mom who is able to tell you all about what I have learned from studying the bible. But more importantly I pray that I can be the kind of mom who shows you what it is like to live a Godly life and you grow up learning the goodness of God’s graces. I love you tucker.

 

♥

mom

What’s with the Diet Coke?

There’s something about McDonald’s Diet Coke. I just don’t know what it is. My FIL was retired quite sometime before my MIL was and he used to go to McDonald’s restaurant everyday get his diet coke and read the paper. He knew the staff by first name and they knew him. We used to tease him a little bit for this and when my MIL retired he became a frequent drive-thru’er’ and we lovingly joked how my MIL was the Yoko Ono of my FIL and his McDonald’s friends (:

He’s not the only one who I know will go out of their way to just pick up a large Diet Coke from McDonald’s for $1.06. A good friend of mine who is a baby birthing factory has 3 kids under 6 years old and everyday gets them in the car for their daily McDonald’s drive thru to get her soda. I went in today to get 2 Diet Cokes for my sister and I on the late end of the lunch hour and the drive thru line was spilling out onto the street! It was insane…so I went in while my sister stayed in the car. There were a ton of people in there too…and of course I had to get behind the guy ordering lunch for 10 people, when all I wanted was 2 cups…I fill them up myself! It got me thinking that there should be a Soda Only Express Lane and Drive Thru Lane at McDonald’s. If there was such a thing how many people would utilize it? I know that I would, there’s something about Diet Coke from the fountain that just calls my name.

Eric is much the same about Diet Mountain Dew. Which I complain that he MUST buy one everyday when I can get a case for him to drink for MUCH less per can than a fountain everyday. I find myself in hypocrisies like this one a bit too often. It’s almost like the rules are the rules for everyone else, but when it’s my turn to follow them, they don’t apply. For example, pedestrians always have the right of way – except when I have to be somewhere and you’re moving too slow, but if I’m walking you better stop for me. Or if I’m in the living room first and watching a TV show that I like and Eric doesn’t he can’t ask me to change the channel, he should just go down to his Man Cave and watch something else down there – but if he’s in the living room first and watching something that I don’t like he must change it to something we both like. It’s something that I am becoming more aware of all on my own. Eric is the best husband in the fact that he rarely throws these hypocrisies in my face, and I appreciate that so much…again the ying to my yang.

Tucker is everywhere and into everything these days, and bumps and bruises are a part of it all, he’s such an adventurous child, wanting to see and touch everything – especially things he shouldn’t be touching. This morning I had to preface my departure from Tucker’s daycare with I SWEAR I don’t beat my child, even though he had yet another bump above his eye from trying to climb on an endtable in the living room. I hate that he gets bumps and bruises, but I love that he’s learning how to so many things now. Is there a happy medium where he doesn’t get beat to hell but learns how to be an independent productive child? I guess I am learning too, what MUST be childproofed, and I am thinking about getting the padding for the ends of our tables and shelves so if he does climb and hit something it won’t bonk him so hard like it did this morning. Poor baby, it was a really sad cry. I find it so funny that when I was telling the story to my sister this morning I could mimic the exact cry Tucker made and did the other cries he makes, like when you tell him no or when you take away something he wants and can’t have. I know the different cries of my child…being a parent is such an incredible gift from God.

Dear Tucker Tot,

I have my flaws, I know right now you think I’m perfect, but I’m not. I work hard to be all that you need me to be…I hope that you grow up to be a wonderful man like your dad. he’s so great, I love that he’s so good at knowing which battles to choose with me. That is something that your dad and I will learn together on how to do with you. It is our goal to be a team an united front with parenting you. Your granny and papa & your grandpa and grandma were so great at that. We are blessed with such great role models to take pointers from in how to raise you. I love being your mom and learning more about everyday. Thank you God for my Tucker, he’s such a gift to us and everyone he knows.

♥

mom