So Tucker has begun a new stage of total I NEED IT NOW – RIGHT THIS SECOND or I’m GONNA SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS. This is very annoying, and as my mom put it, things that were cute when he first did it are now becoming disruptive to others and my and Eric’s sanity. I have a funny feeling that this new stage of independence and demanding is not something that will be getting any easier. I have begun to seek out what other moms and dads are doing about this and gather knowledge for the upcoming super fun years ahead.
I found this fantastic article called 21 Creative Consequences by iMOM. It’s a phenomenal article about inventive ways to, not punish your children, but to encourage them to be doing the right things. I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement, and age appropriate independence, and inventive punishment when needed. I have learned that from my mom. I feel bad for people when they cringe at the thought of becoming like their mother, for me, Tucker would be one lucky kid if I became a mom like my mom. In my personal opinion, I think my mom is superb at being a mom. The only thing better than having her as my mom is, having her as a grandma to Tucker and any future brother(s) or sister(s). With that being said, here are some of the more creative ‘punishments’ that I remember growing up…
- When I was 3 or 4 I would try to run over our cats with my hotwheels…I know mean, my mom warned me once, on video camera, and I called her bluff. Bad move, she whisked me off my hotwheels and tied it from the rafters in the garage for a week. I was low enough that I could see it, but high enough that there was no way I could get it.
- I used to suck on my hair, I know gross, and it made it hard and crunchy and unable to comb through. My mom told me that if I continued to do it one more day she’d cut it off. And she did! She jacked my hair all up and made me go to school like that! She took me to the salon that night, but I NEVER EVER sucked my hair again – that taught me my lesson.
- LeAnne and I are 23 months apart. It made for a whole lot of craziness for my stay at home mom. We were constantly at eachother’s throats and terrorized a number of babysitters. When my mom had enough and decided that we needed more love she would put us in chairs just inches from each other and say I LOVE YOU until she thought that we actually meant it, oh yeah and we had to have our foreheads touching and holding hands. I remember (in dramatic me time) being there for a hour!
- Nap time was actually more important to my mom than it ever was to us. As a mom now, I very much understand that. So my mom didn’t really care if we were sleeping but we had to stay in our room and be quiet. A timer was set for one hour. It was the time my mom needed to gather her sanity and re-energize for the afternoon of mom’ness’. I understand that now, and appreciate that my mom was teaching us independence and skills to be come more self-sufficient.
- I also seem to remember both my parents using disappointment as a “punishment”. Punishment is far stretched for this, because it was the truth, when I made bad decisions I did disappoint them…which to me was the worst thing that could happen to me. I loved, and still do, love to do right by the people that I love. Approval and praise are worth more than gold to me, and my parents learned that early on – I truly believe that I am who I am because my mom and dad recognized that and used that emotion to help guide me to better life choices. I learned from each of the bad choices I made, and I’m a stronger person for them.
I found this article to be compelling, and so worth my mom time. I love to read things that help me to remember that it’s not only my kid who will misbehave and turn my hair gray – I won’t be alone, articles like this reinforce that. It makes me happy to know about all the resources out there for new things to try to be a better mom and help to raise a better son.
it’s been a while since I’ve posted a picture on here…this is from bathtime the other night…Tucker’s new thing is to stick his face in the bubbles…cracks me up everytime!
Dear Tucker, I loved this article – it helps me to know that the challenges that your dad and I will face in the coming years are things that many other parents are going through, and have gone through too. It’s nice to know that we will all survive it! It’s difficult right now because, even though you’re talking all the time, you still have trouble communicating exactly what you need. I feel like you’re such a big boy but still my baby all at the same time. I am going to print this article out and put it in your keepsake box and pull it out when you are able to understand all this a little better. Even in the bad moments you have so enriched our lives – it’s hard to remember the days before you were here. I love being your mom and learning everyday with you. I pray that you will grow up to be the amazing man I know you can be. I love you so much Tuckey-tot. ♥ mom