There just simply is something different about this pregnancy and the bond that I feel with this baby vs. carrying Tucker. By 32 weeks Tucker’s nursery was ready, shelves were hung, clothes were washed, hospital bag was packed, and everything was ready to go and we concentrated on LeAnne & Matt’s wedding. But this time, we’ve been so wrapped up in working with Tucker to get him ready for this life changing time, that I haven’t really stopped to really coddle this time with our growing girl. It dawned on me this weekend, that I haven’t given her time with just the 2 of us – I haven’t felt connected the same because for the most part all of the preparations for her, Eric has done…they really have all been moving furniture and installing this or that, I’ve done a little bit of shopping but God only knows how this little girl will get spoiled rotten upon delivery. There was so much hustle and bustle with my pregnancy with Tucker, baby showers and putting things together and hanging clothes etc., and it was just me, not me pregnant chasing a toddler around, I’m sure that’s it.
But this weekend was different, it was my labor of love for her. To truly understand how much of a labor of love painting is for me, one must understand that I DO NOT do painting, and have NEVER found it to be something that I enjoy – thank goodness there are people out there who do, I’ve paid them to do it for us. To be quite honest I try but am just not good at it, God gave me other talents that make me shine. But I had a dream early in my pregnancy when Eric and I were discussing the ‘theme’ for her nursery, which was supposed to be Pirates – until 3 lines showed up on the Ultrasound! We thought about jungle animals, we thought about princesses, we thought about owenge, but none of them inspired me, until I was deep in slumber and I woke up begging Eric for a sunshine nursery. In my dream there was one wall with Yellow chevron stripes, and a huge 3d sun on the ceiling, and you just felt warm and happy when you were in there, rocking her back to sleep even in the middle of the night.
Finding the energy to do this was a daunting task, when I found out my due date I knew that it was going to be rough, Eric’s job requires long days at this time of the year, and I feel bad asking him to do things around the house after a 15 hour work day, and he gets upset and I get overwhelmed trying to move and lift things myself. Not to mention that Tucker isn’t a docile kid, if he’s not strapped in a seat or sleeping he’s going 90 mph. But this weekend my friend Mel came over and helped me make my dream a reality.
We made a few adjustments, and did straight lines rather than chevrons, and Eric and I found a 3d sun ceiling light at IKEA a couple weeks ago and it’s all coming together amazingly! Mel was my catalyst to get moving on it, she came over and helped me to straighten out my lines, which I swear were straight, but alas she was right and they looked more like a wavy horizon than straight lines. I found a great article about painting straight lines on Knockdown and it worked pretty awesome – http://livingwithlindsay.com/2011/06/paint-perfect-stripes.html if I do say so myself…although I’m not too picky. We left the paint on after 2 coats of Crayola Yellow to see how it would look in the sunlight, and boy was it different. I got Tucker down for his nap and threw on my painters shirt and shorts and all by myself, I grabbed a paintbrush and began painting and the more I did the more I smiled, I stopped rubbed my belly and talked to her and told her about what I was doing, and how beautiful her room was going to be and how happy she made me. For the first time, my labor of love translated into an outpouring of emotions for this little girl I love so much already. The yellow is beautiful, although there are quite a few more projects that need to be done in there, it’s ready for the most part, we’re ready, I’m ready, and I can’t wait to meet her and introduce her to the outside world. I love how yellow makes me feel, so warm, cozy, and enlightened – all by myself with my stripes of yellow and a dream coming true. I’m such a lucky girl, blessed beyond belief – Thank You God for all you give to me, and help me to appreciate and always give thanks for everything. Amen.
Dear Baby Girl, This weekend was the first extended time that was all about you, it was wonderful to concentrate on you and think about bringing you home and showing you your beautiful nursery that Daddy, Auntie Mel and I painted for you. Your brother even helped out, he learns things so fast, but I can only imagine how fast you’ll learn things when you watch him. I dream about the two of you playing and growing up and what our life will be like, and I can’t wait. You are a Child of God and He has given me a great responsibility to bring you into this world, you need to stay put for a little while longer and grow big and strong like your brother, but don’t grow quite as big as he did (: I love you so much, and I know that my heart is big enough to love you all and know that you, Tucker, and your dad are the centers of my universe. Mind you, you all will take turns being my favorite, and Bogey have have that honor some days too, but I will love you everyday forever and ever. Grow baby girl, and when the time is right we will welcome you with open arms and open hearts! ♥ mom