slacker here.

27 01 2012

So I’m a blogger slacker.  This new year has already been crazy busy, after this month things will hopefully slow down and we can get back into the groove of things again.  Eric and I are celebrating our 5 year anniversary soon in the Bahamas.  I have been really looking forward to it, but dreading it all at the same time.  Which led to my/our New Year’s Resolution.

Eric and I had a big talk.  I’m a big talker, and while I was pregnant I vowed not to be one of those moms who sleep with their kids and let their ENTIRE worlds revolve around their kids and leave their husbands in the dust.  But I became one of those moms, it’s so easy to just become what you never wanted to be.  I have not been neglectful to Eric, just not as attentive as I should be.  After all, my marriage to Eric was created in the eyes of God and it is what I will have long after Tucker and his unmade unborn brother(s)/sister(s) are out of our house.  I adore my husband, he’s such an amazing man, but I am just plain old exhausted at the end of the day and we are both so busy at night that when we find a babysitter it’s so I can run to council, do volunteer work, get stuff done for church, do stuff for work or a very rare night out with the girls, and Eric in the winter Eric works at night, so we use our babysitters for life events, very rarely do we use them for us time.  Well this year we are going to make it a priority.  We have set aside one night every month for just us.  I bought a groupon for tubing at a local ski hill for our February date night (:  We also talked about getting away for a night with just us at least 3 times this year.  Doesn’t have to be anything too fancy but we are really needing time for us.  We both love eachother everyday and like eachother more days than not, but knowing that isn’t just enough.

There’s a country song called, “the best of intentions”.  An ex-boyfriend once told me that song was written about him, he had all the grandest dreams to give me so much that he said I deserved.  Well the song was right, he did always have the best of intentions, but if they never become reality, what good are they?  I wasted 5 years with that loser, and until I met Eric I had no idea that guys gave more than intentions, they give their everything.  I found a box of old cards that we have given eachother while I was looking for our marriage and my birth certificates, and I remember when it was puppy love, but the amazing thing is, is that our cards have just gotten more sincere, and the words written in them more meaningful when our actions behind them have made our wonderful reality we have today.

A few years ago Eric called me at work and asked me if I could get a couple vacation days so we could go out to NYC for one of the last Yankees games, I told him I’d see.  I ‘like’ sports, when I know the teams and when I’m there in person, but to go out to NYC pay money for nosebleed seats and watch 2 teams play baseball who I only know 1 player wasn’t my cup of tea.  I called my mom to discuss (which is what I do for just about everything) and she said something that rang so loud in my head I have never forgot it.  “Patty Lou, do you know just how lucky you are?  You have a husband who adores you and wants to go with you on a trip like this, when your father and I were your age, there’s no way I’d be the first person he’d ask to go on a sporting trip.  Go, and enjoy yourselves and bask in the fact that he loves to be with you and wants to invite you into what he likes.”  I am one lucky girl, I know that.  I love my husband, I love my baby, and I love my dog.  My life is great and I give thanks to God for all that we have been given.

Dear Tucker,
I can’t even begin to count the blessings that God has given me.  Before you were here, I promised so many things that I would and would not do.  I guess if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, right?  It’s so easy to cast my opinions about what we will and won’t do as parents when we aren’t ones.  Now we are and I had begun to forget about what was first and what will be here long after you’ve grown up, your dad and I.  We are so lucky to have him in our lives.  He’s a great man, he takes such good care of you during the day, and keeps the house in order.  He makes me feel special and just by being him, I remember how great my life is.  Just because Dad and I are going to start taking more time for ourselves doesn’t mean that we don’t love you as much, we’re spending time together because we love you so much!  And there are so many other people that love you and want to spend time with you that we want everyone to get their chance.  I love you to the moon and back Tuckey-roo!
mom
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