21 Creative Consequences from iMOM

15 02 2012

So Tucker has begun a new stage of total I NEED IT NOW – RIGHT THIS SECOND or I’m GONNA SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS.  This is very annoying, and as my mom put it, things that were cute when he first did it are now becoming disruptive to others and my and Eric’s sanity.  I have a funny feeling that this new stage of independence and demanding is not something that will be getting any easier.  I have begun to seek out what other moms and dads are doing about this and gather knowledge for the upcoming super fun years ahead.

I found this fantastic article called 21 Creative Consequences by iMOM.  It’s a phenomenal article about inventive ways to, not punish your children, but to encourage them to be doing the right things.  I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement, and age appropriate independence, and inventive punishment when needed.  I have learned that from my mom.  I feel bad for people when they cringe at the thought of becoming like their mother, for me, Tucker would be one lucky kid if I became a  mom like my mom.  In my personal opinion, I think my mom is superb at being a mom.  The only thing better than having her as my mom is, having her as a grandma to Tucker and any future brother(s) or sister(s).  With that being said, here are some of the more creative ‘punishments’ that I remember growing up…

  1. When I was 3 or 4 I would try to run over our cats with my hotwheels…I know mean, my mom warned me once, on video camera, and I called her bluff.  Bad move, she whisked me off my hotwheels and tied it from the rafters in the garage for a week. I was low enough that I could see it, but high enough that there was no way I could get it.
  2. I used to suck on my hair, I know gross, and it made it hard and crunchy and unable to comb through.  My mom told me that if I continued to do it one more day she’d cut it off.  And she did!  She jacked my hair all up and made me go to school like that!  She took me to the salon that night, but I NEVER EVER sucked my hair again – that taught me my lesson.
  3. LeAnne and I are 23 months apart.  It made for a whole lot of craziness for my stay at home mom.  We were constantly at eachother’s throats and terrorized a number of babysitters.  When my mom had enough and decided that we needed more love she would put us in chairs just inches from each other and say I LOVE YOU until she thought that we actually meant it, oh yeah and we had to have our foreheads touching and holding hands.  I remember (in dramatic me time) being there for a hour!
  4. Nap time was actually  more important to my mom than it ever was to us.  As a mom now, I very  much understand that.  So my mom didn’t really care if we were sleeping but we had to stay in our room and be quiet.  A timer was set for one hour.  It was the time my mom needed to gather her sanity and re-energize for the afternoon of mom’ness’.  I understand that now, and appreciate that my mom was teaching us independence and skills to be come more self-sufficient.
  5. I also seem to remember both my parents using disappointment as a “punishment”.  Punishment is far stretched for this, because it was the truth, when I made bad decisions I did disappoint them…which to me was the worst thing that could happen to me.  I loved,  and still do, love to do right by the people that I love.  Approval and praise are worth more than gold to me, and my parents learned that early on – I truly believe that I am who I am because my  mom and dad recognized that and used that emotion to help guide me to better life choices.  I learned from each of the bad choices I made, and I’m a stronger person for them.

I found this article to be compelling, and so worth my mom time.  I love to read things that help me to remember that it’s not only  my kid who will misbehave and turn my hair gray – I won’t be alone, articles like this reinforce that.  It makes me happy to know about all the resources out there for new things to try to be a better mom and help to raise a better son.

it’s been a while since I’ve posted a picture on here…this is from bathtime the other night…Tucker’s new thing is to stick his face in the bubbles…cracks me up everytime!

 
Dear Tucker,
 
I loved this article – it helps me to know that the challenges that your dad and I will face in the coming years are things that many other parents are going through, and have gone through too.  It’s nice to know that we will all survive it!  It’s difficult right now because, even though you’re talking all the time, you still have trouble communicating exactly what you need.  I feel like you’re such a big boy but still my baby all at the same time.  I am going to print this article out and put it in your keepsake box and pull it out when you are able to understand all this a little better.  Even in the bad moments you have so enriched our lives – it’s hard to remember the days before you were here.  I love being your mom and learning everyday with you.  I pray that you will grow up to be the amazing man I know you can be.  I love you so much Tuckey-tot.
mom
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Deal Finda!

8 02 2012

I’m a coupon cutter.  I love to organize my coupons and bust out my Excel Spreadsheet and mix and match my groceries to find the best deals.  I wish I had more time to really dedicate to it, there are times when I have to do it on the fly, but going in with a plan definitely helps keep on budget for the month.  Well with that being said, I also love to find a great deal and let’s face it FREE IS ME, why pay for a fabulous product when you can win it???

Well I went with a couple of different friends to look at double strollers a while back and loved the Stroll-Air stroller, it was sleek and light weight and could fit in doorways, it was able to adapt to 2 different aged kids or 2 kids of the same age, and it was just overall AWESOME!  Well so is the price tag, $799.  But a good stroller is worth it’s weight in gold I have found with the ones that we have right now, so when it’s time we will splurge, unless that is we are lucky enough to win the STROLL-AIR MY DUO in GREEN!!!  here’s this fancy guy…

what a great steal…this is an opportunity to win a $799 stroller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hop on board my fellow bloggers, here are the instructions:

2012 Dragons’ Den (or Year of the Dragon) Giveaway! 🙂
Yes, our episode will air in March and we are sooooo excited! Thus, decided to giveaway our newest product STROLL-AIR MY DUO in GREEN!!!

US$799.99 VALUE!!!
—————————–
Blog about it, Tweet about it, Facebook about it!
But most importantly let us know that you did (by POSTING the link on our Facebook wall (please note you must LIKE our page in order to comment).

Every blog post counts as 3 points (post a comment below on our EVENTS page:
“I blogged about Stroll-Air My Duo Green Giveaway. Here is a link: http://www.______(enter a link to your blog post)”. Blog post must include link to our website www.stroll-air.com and a link to our Facebook page https://www.Facebook.com/StrollAir ;

Every Tweet, counts as 1 point (comment below on our EVENTS page:
“I tweeted about Stroll-Air My Duo Giveaway. Here is a link: http://www.______(enter a link to your tweet post)”. Please no more than one tweet per hour.

Comment below why you would choose Stroll-Air My Duo over any other double stroller for additional 1 point entry.

Bring a friend to LIKE our page, ask them to post below: “I was referred _____ (person, blog, Facebook page)” for additional 1 point entry. 

Contest open to residents of Canada and continental US.
Must be 18 or over to win.
Please do not duplicate posts (no same post every hour on tweeter, one blog post per week).
Winner will be chosen on March 31, 2012. 🙂

Isn’t this awesome???  BTW you need to let them know that Patty Gitter referred you on their FB page!  Good Luck friends!





Vacation and my irrational fears.

2 02 2012

So as Eric would say, I was a bit, well, emotional about leaving for our trip to the Bahamas.  A trip that we as a happily married couple desperately needed.  Time away to remember why we are together, without having to discuss who will be driving before we go out, watching what we drink, or ‘discussing’ who will get up and take care of the baby or who’s turn it is to take out the dog.  We got a week of pampering, warm sunny weather, and  millions memories that we’ll never forget.

Before we left, for at least 4 months, when the trip was mentioned my pulse would race, and I’d have chest tightness, the thought of leaving my baby for an entire week was petrifying to me.  I felt guilty, I’m a full time working woman and mom, and I already feel like I don’t get enough time with Tucker, and to take 8 whole days off of work and not spend ANY of that time with him, well, made me feel awful.  And without even knowing – my feelings were being projected onto Eric, and he was feeling that I just didn’t want to getting away with him.  *BTW not the case at all*.  There didn’t seem to be much that I could do to subside these feelings and make Eric understand the maternal working mom in me.  I gave up and a week before we left I had our monthly church council meeting.  At the end we break up into groups and ask Jesus to help with something that we are struggling with in our lives, Pastor was in our group, and I asked for calmness about our upcoming trip and peace knowing that Tucker is well taken care of with my mom and dad and Eric’s mom and dad.  Pastor Jay said something that hit me and helped me to find peace, “Help Patty to see that the Union that You created between her and Eric is the most important because it was made in your eyes.”  I may be paraphrasing here, but he’s right, God created our union, and from that beautiful union created and sealed on February 24, 2007 – came Tucker, another one of God’s wonderful creations.  But he’ll be grown up someday and find a woman to share that union with that was created by God, and I hope he puts all he has into it, the way his dad, papa, and grandpa does.

So one of my fears is that we would leave and after 8 days come back and Tucker would look totally different, talk in full sentences, be running around, and I guess do so much that we would have missed.  Since he got so big, he wouldn’t remember that Mama is his favorite person in the world, and everything would just be different.  I am sure I am not the only parent to have these crazy irrational fears.

So 8 days in paradise, overindulging in food, alcohol, sun, water, fun and my husband we got home late and I HAD to wake up Tucker.  He didn’t look different, and he opened one eye, looked up at me, and said “mama?” a big smile and then a squeel, “MAMA!” he got right up and I swooped him up and gobbled all the kisses he attacked me with.  He was different, he learned a few new words and mannerisms, he wasn’t walking yet, and I was still his favorite.  It didn’t take long to get right back into the swing of things, but it was so much easier to do with a tan.  Our vacation that ended 8 days ago already feels like years ago and normal is back.  Everyday of our vacation from the moment we stepped on the grounds of Sandals Emerald Bay I got to forgot about being a mom, a dog owner, and became a wife, a book reader, a tanning beauty, a swimmer, and let loose.  I can’t imagine that when we do another trip away from Tucker, I won’t have some anxiety but it’s good to know that I can do it, I can have a great time with my husband and not feel the weight of mom guilt hang over me.  I am grateful that God gave us the financial and physical means to take a trip like this.  We are blessed.  Life is good.  Being a mom is great, but being a wife is amazing.

Dear Tucker,
 
I made it through leaving you, and you know what?  I’m a better mom for it.  I absolutely loved having time away with your dad, it’s something that we really needed to be a better mom and dad.  You had such a good week and your Granny and Papa and Grandma and Grandpa LOVED having you all to themselves.  Papa told me that they got to know you so much better and had such fun watching you learn all sorts of new things.  Grandma told me that you loved having sleepovers at the Bear’s house and you were such a good boy.  They both told me what a good sleeper you were for them.  I love that you’re such a good boy for them, now we will work on the good sleeper thing for mom and dad, you’re not bad but there’s always room for improvement.  (like going down better for naps).  We love you in spite of your reluctance to take 2 naps anymore.  You make me smile and make my heart melt Tuckey-roo.  I love you.  
 
mom