And Baby Makes Four…

29 11 2012

I can’t believe that it’s been 7 weeks since my last post…well obviously A LOT has happened, first and foremost we did it, we had a baby girl – a bouncing, cuddly, beautiful baby girl, but before that we had the last week of my pregnancy with her, a slow start to labor and delivery, a battle of name the baby, and a sobbing last night of putting Tucker to bed as an only child.  Let’s back this train up from where the last post left off…

Eric and I went into Liz’s office for my 39 week check up thinking that FOR SURE that the baby had made some progress…no none, well Liz said that she was in a good mood and she’d say that I had thinned out about 5% more.  Whoopdee doo daa.  I basically have been 1 cm and 50-55% effaced for a month, a month!  I sat there, pantless, thinking that she’s gonna make me do this myself, and she’s never gonna talk induction with us.  Low and behold, she asked what we thought about induction, and we again scheduled induction on her due date, October 15.

The week came and went and LeAnne made me “Happy Last Day of Work” cupcakes (my favorite funfetti) and had a great last day tying up loose ends, doing a maternity leave mailbox message, and putting in the out of office assistant on.  The day flew by and I went home for the last Friday night as a family of three.  And as fast as the last day of work flew by, so did the last weekend, we went to my parents house for dinner on Sunday night and I snuggled with Tucker, and didn’t want to leave.  I laid him down in his bed at my mom and dad’s and cried, hard – scared of what was coming, not delivery but beyond.  Would there be enough of me for Tucker to know that I still love him as much Sunday as I will on Monday when there is a new baby to care for too?  It’s really the first time I gave into these feelings and it felt good to let them out.  Eric and I got home, put the finishing touches on our hospital bag, carseat, and stuff that we wanted footprints on, packed them in the car and I slept like a baby.

5 AM came early, oh wait that IS early.  And I got up, showered, dried my hair, and put on my last HUGE maternity clothes and we were out the door by 6 am.  Here is  picture of me in the morning just before we left.  Even Bogey couldn’t believe how big I was!

We checked into the hospital and I was hooked up to an IV and the check in nurse was getting all our vitals and info.  Liz came in and checked me and to my surprise, there was still barely ANY more activity.  I was 1 cm and 75% effaced, high cervix and not softened.  Bummer.  But my contractions were less than 3 minutes apart – but I couldn’t feel them.  Liz told me that there is a chance that if this doesn’t work, they would have to send me home and come back when real labor began.  The though petrified me.  She inserted the first dose of Cytotec (yes yes I know it is controversial to use for induction – I did my research but this was the path that Liz and I decided upon) around 7:30 am and I was told to lay down and sit still then I was to pace the hallways and get my labor moving.  At 10:30ish I was checked again and was 100% thinned out, 2 cm, softened and forward cervix!  Yahoo! I got the second dose of Cytotec and again told to lay down for a while and continue power walking the halls to progress labor.  I continued to progress slowly and around 2 pm Liz came in I was 3 cm and she then broke my water…that moved things quickly.  I was no longer smiling, talking, or laughing the contractions were coming fast and were painful.  The anesthesiologist was paged and he put in the first step of the two step epidural.  It was pretty instantanous and life was good again.  Here is a picture of me after it took effect…

Eric and I walked a little bit more, and I was told to let Liz and Nylene know when I was feeling pain or pressure again because the second part of the epidural takes about 20 minutes to take effect.  We got about 3 laps in before I told Eric that I was feeling some pressure, he told me to tell Liz, to which I replied – “I don’t want to be a whiner” Eric’s response – “Ahhh, news flash you’re having a baby you’re not a whiner”  He told Liz when we passed her in the hall and she said she’d check me, low and behold I was 9 cm and we were almost ready to push, and I still needed the next part of the epidural.  I was given the second epidural and bed ridden, and at 4:14 began pushing, at 4:18 the epidural kicked in, and at 4:20 pm, our baby girl was born.  She was a screamer at 8 lbs 15 oz and 21.5″ long.  She was placed on my chest and was 1 of the 2 most perfect people in the whole wide world.

We were totally in LOVE with her the instant we met her.  Every thought, fear, flutter, worry, doubt, everything went away and God filled my heart with unwavering love for this tiny (okay well tiny compared to her brother) new life that we created!  My blessings overflowed, and all was good with the world.  She looked just like Tucker – chubby cheeks, little button nose, and had hair – even more than Tucker.  Liz and Nylene (her midwife student) fixed me all up down under and the rush of family entered into the room to meet Baby Girl Gitter (that was her name for another 5 hours).  Everyone oogled and snuggled her, took pictures and then the nurses checked her vitals again, she was running a temperature of 101, and then dropped to 97.4  they suggested that we do skin to skin for a while to help regulate her temperature, it worked, right from the start she just needed her mommy.  Later that night my sister and brother in law came to meet her.  We were discussing names, we liked Mollie – Kenzie – Lily – Annabelle – Abilene – Quinn…but NONE of those were her.  I thought she looked like a Leah and Eric thought she looked like a Lucy…so finally after a while of discussing we had common ground her name should start with an L.  I suggested Leighton – LeAnne and Matt both liked it and our general manager’s at the Sandals Resort we stayed at in January (do the math people 9 months before) was named Leighton (LAY-TON)…we thought it fit, BUT Eric was hesitant.  So, not annoying at all, I pointed out every 3 or so minutes that I like Leighton, I like Leighton, I like Leighton.  I grabbed the birth certificate form and the three of us all told Eric how much we liked Leighton, when he was on the phone, and he finally caved in and came to the right decision.  So our Mollie-Kenzie-Lily-Annabelle-Abilene-Quinn became Leighton Annette.  She was a great sleeper that first night, but the nurses kept waking us up to check on me and her and nurse every 2 hours.  We had a plethora of visitors that came and went in the 3 days we were in the hospital, we are so blessed with so many family and friends.  My friends Mel and Mandy stopped in and gave us some of the coolest gifts…Leighton was all the rage with the wand in her bassinet!  I love how the Buschke’s stayed with the yellow sunshine theme!!!

Tucker came up to the hospital…he would not pose for any pictures he was too busy pushing buttons, but did once acknowledge the Baby one time, then he was done.  That has pretty much been his approach – likes her when he likes her and doesn’t really care the other times.  My mom said that’s nice, I HAD to help with everything when my sister was born and it was hard to keep me away from LeAnne.  She’s right, I do have it good.  My life is good as a gitter my friends.

I’d like to introduce you to Leighton Annette Gitter, who has us all wrapped around her little fingers.  Thank you McManigal Photography for her beautiful pictures!

Dear Leighton,
 
Welcome to our family.  We are beyond thrilled to have finally met you.  I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t quite sure if God really knew what he was doing – could I handle 2 kids under 2, 2 in diapers, still working full time…yes I can – God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.  He knew exactly what he was doing when he gave us you.  I fell head over heels in love with the second they put you on my chest – even gooey and bloody you were still so beautiful, and I couldn’t wait to start this journey with you, my precious daughter.  You came into this family just at the right time, we all needed to see the physical face of God’s grace in you, after Auntie’s diagnosis…just like when I was born after Papa died, you my daughter, show us that life is a brutiful and fragile thing.  I know that getting to snuggle you in Auntie’s arms was the blessing that helped to take her mind off of life for just a few minutes…and she didn’t even have to change your diaper – boy life is good!  I stare at your little button nose, your full sweet lips, your big slate colored eyes (quickly turning brown like all the rest of ours), and smile knowing that our family is complete with you now.  I love you with everything I have, even though I didn’t know if I could love you and your brother both as much as you guys needed – God doesn’t give us a shortage in love.  Our new journey is just beginning, you’ll soon learn how good life as a gitter really is Leighton! 
 
mom




Pray Police

28 08 2012

Sometimes being a consistent mother pays off and sometimes it’s a real eye opener.  Tucker is at the age where he sees and hears everything, and you have no idea how much or what he is absorbing into that little spongey brain of his.  His newest thing is praying.  He’s diligent about it, and this momma couldn’t be more proud, I love when he recognizes and mimics the good things that Eric and I do with him.  (:

Every time we eat, if one of us doesn’t prompt the family prayer Tucker surely will, he looks at everyone and says “Paaay” and folds his hands – he sits with his hands folded and at the conclusion he says “Aaaamn”  It melts my heart every time.  This weekend we were at the grocery store and to keep him occupied, I got him a donut to eat while I shopped…and before he ate it we had to “Paay” and half way through we had to “Paaay” and when we were done we had to “Paaay” as proud as I am, 3 prayers for one donut  seemed a bit of an overkill.  We’ve transitioned him into a big boy bed, and when he doesn’t want to go down he asks me to “Paaay” more with him.  And when I get up, he says, “No no mama, paaay”  it’s hard to deny that cute little face, and it astonishes me that that he gets that this is something that is hard to deny him.  Such a smartie pants we have!

It made me think, what other things is he watching us do or say, Tucker isn’t a kid that sits for ANY length of time, and the TV is on a lot at our house with educational shows like Sesame Street, Super Why, and of course in prep for our trip Mickey Mouse Clubhouse…he’s never referred to water as water but always as agua – which I think he picked up on from Sesame Street – and that silly kid walks around sometimes bent forward at the hip with his fists at his sides and for the longest time I hadn’t a clue what he was doing, but one day the commercial came on and he started to Squeaka like Chica! Any parents recognize that commercial??!!

He’s just growing up so fast – I love watching him learn, I wonder how much will life change come on/around October 15th?  Can I indulge in her the way I do with Tucker in her first 20 months?  Will I be able to enjoy all of the other milestones that Tucker has coming as much as I do now?  Will he know that I still love him as much after the baby comes as I do now?  It’s crazy to think that in a few weeks give or take we’ll double the number of kids in our house – and we’re so not ready.

When I was 30 weeks pregnant with Tucker, the nursery was done, the clothes we had were washed, hung, and organized, everything had it’s place and everything that could be packed was packed for the hospital with a list of things on top of the bag to add when we had to dash.  (Although we didn’t have to dash I was induced) This time, what clothes and stuff I do have is hung, the room is half baby stuff, half our office that needs to be cleared out and moved into our room, I am still hmmm hwwwing about what I want to paint in there – and the clock is ticking away.  I hate taking my days off that I get to spend with Tucker to do chores to get ready for the baby – there is such little time left, but it has to get done…I know it does.  Am I the only mom that is concerned about things like this?  I’m not typically a foot dragger, but I can’t seem to find the umph to do what needs to be done right now, I’d rather play on the swings with Tucker and E.  Life better give my brain and body the 411 that she’s coming whether we’re ready or not!  Truth be told, I just can’t wait to see the plans God has for us and our family…Life Is Good, and we have so much to “Paaay” about and to give Thanks for.

Dear Tucker,
You’re still changing so much everyday!  I was talking with Katherine the other day about how old you’re looking, and she said she thinks you grow inches over the long weekends without her!  You’re becoming a little mimic of us and your cousins – and to watch you interact with other kids makes my heart leap.  You’re the most caring kid, you smile and wave at every person who walks past you and I want to slap the people who don’t wave back at you and yell HELLO???!!? did you not see the cutest kid in the entire world just wave at you??  But I can learn so much from you – you just let it roll off your shoulders and smile and wave at the next person, who’s day you made by blowing kisses and little toddler hand waves.  You’re so into praying these days, and I love that –  I was talking to Grandma yesterday, and was telling her how proud I am that you keep your dad and I in check and remind us to Give Thanks to God for all we have.  Those are the values I want you to remember, and our actions must be following suit with our words in that, and I am proud to be that kind of parent to you.  I pray for the upcoming transition for you and for your dad and I, I worry that life will change drastically for you and our special bond, but I promise that I will do everything in my power to still be the best mom I can be, and we will always say our goodnight and meal prayers together, that is such a special time for me.  I love you Tucker man – you’re just the very best boy in the whole entire world!
mom




It’s a…

25 05 2012

So today was the day. The baby looked great and healthy and it we found out it is a…I’ll let Tucker tell you…

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It’s a girl!! We’re the qinessential American family. Just need the white Pickett Fence! He’s decided that we need to have a baby girl every night if he gets pink cake and balloons!

We’re thrilled and got her a Little Sister outfit it was so foreign shopping in the girls department. Now a girl name, and some shoes!

Have a good holiday weekend!





Today’s the day

25 05 2012

When I was in the shower this morning I thought about my day.  It’s a big day for us, it’s our 20 week ultrasound.  I knew so early that I was pregnant that the half way mark seemed soooo far away, and now it’s here just a few hours away.  So, I’m a planner – I want to know what this baby is.  I know a handful of my friends who decided not to know and it was a magical experience for them, but it’s just me – I want to know and so does Eric.  But he’s so awesome about it, just like when we were here a couple of years ago Eric told me he wanted what I wanted.  He’s so great, I’m so lucky to have him.

So we go in today to the ultrasound at 10:45.  It’s a room that carries so much weight.  All we really ask for is a healthy baby, it’s what the ultrasound is actually for, but that’s a given.  I flash back to hearing the news of our best couple friend, who received heartbreaking news about their first baby in a room similar to one we’ll be in today.  Or the book, I Will Carry You by Angie Smith where they were in a room similar and were given devastating news about their little girl too.  I think about the season finale of Private Practice, I can’t remember crying so hard at a TV show.  I actually have goosebumps as I type this, thinking about that episode.  These thoughts enter my head, but don’t consume like I thought they would.  I think I wouldn’t be normal if they didn’t cross my mind.  My God is with us, I feel him all around me today.

The baby is squirming around right now jabbing the right side of my belly, and I smile thinking about getting to meet our little boy or girl on the screen today.  I’ve been asked quite a few times about what we want…I first answer the obvious answers – a healthy human baby…insert chuckle…and then I tell them if I could choose I’d want another boy.  Most people are surprised by my answer, they assume that I would want a girl to finish off the idea of a perfect American Family.  I love having a boy and the kids will be 21 months apart and there is something to be said about bunkbeds and best friend brothers, I want that.  I have 2 princess nieces a football field away from our house who I LOVE spoiling with girly girl things.

I feel like it’s another boy.  This pregnancy is so much like when I was pregnant with Tucker.  But we will see in a few hours.  I’ll be back with an update and some kind of fun revealing picture.  Have a good Friday morning!!





Week 3 – K-Love Radio

18 05 2012

It’s no secret that I am strong in my faith.  It’s easy to be in my life right now, I have an abundance of wonderful things that are happening and have happened in my life.  But I never stop thinking that it’s going to come…I’m going to get a tough card, a real crappy card.  Maybe not as crappy as some that others I know and I love have been dealt but I try and practice a strong faith to carry me through those times when they arrive.  Not everyone I love will be with me forever, that’s a given.  In week 1 – be an organ donor and week 2 – be a blood donor I share about what you can do now while you’re here – give blood and save a life, and when it’s my time or your time, be an organ donor and give life to someone (or someones) else.

Over the last year, I have begun to dig a little deeper into my faith and found that what I was listening to (although I still love Taylor Swift and Matchbox Twenty) wasn’t satisfying a need I had – I was looking to be more inspired to be a better mom, wife, and woman.  On the way home from a trip to Illinois years ago I came across a radio station called K-Love, it was a Christian radio station and they were doing a pledge drive and I listened to the stories about how it changed their lives, and as I drove over the Wisconsin border the station went to static and went back to the usual 106.1 – jamming to songs about rednecks, love, loss, and drinking.  (:  I always remembered that, and about a year ago I was flipping channels and I found that K-Love is here…closer to home!

I started to listen more frequently until now, that it’s rare that K-Love isn’t on the radio when I am in the car or bathroom.  Tucker likes to turn on Jesus Music on the radio and we jam together.  One of the songs that really got me to understand that Christian music isn’t just old school gospel 20 minute songs – was a song by Francesca Battistelli, “This is the Stuff” it spoke to me and I spent days on Google looking for the song with just a couple words that rang in my head.

It’s my bad day inspiration, and because of her music I was introduced to The Story – a concert I went to with my mom for my birthday – it was one of the most moving and inspiring nights!  Listening to more and more K-Love opened me to a whole new world of music that spoke to soul, made me count my blessings, and still allowed rhythm and beat that I could (off beat of course) bounce my head back and forth with and belt out the words.   I love listening to K-Love, it has changed my outlook on life, I’ve always been effervescent – but not always grateful.  I am everyday and when I get in my car I always say, “I need to start with a little God” and I sing on my 4 minute ride to work or listen to the DJ’s talk about what’s going on in the world.  I love that their news stories are uplifting and inspiring – there are A LOT of those stories out there…it’s not just car accidents, murders and politics people!  There are tons of people, young and old, reaching out and changing the world and sharing The Story of Jesus Christ!

This week I encourage each of you to listen to the music and stories shared on K-Love…it’s wonderful.  I have even found a number of devotionals (Proverbs 31 Ministries – Week 4 preview) that I follow and have posted numerous of them to my Facebook Wall.  I love how God has put his words to music and reached out to me.  He can do the same for you.  Come listen to the words of these talented singers – they sing about pain, loss, love, compassion, gratefulness, blessings, heartache, and The Promise made to each one of us.  If you’re so moved, please make a donation to K-Love and keep your station fully funded – it’s easy to do and the money you give them goes to help heal countless others through the ministries of K-Love – listen really listen to the stories during the next Fundraising Drive, they will make you smile a smile only God can create.

Dear Tucker,
 
This week I’m advocating K-Love radio, the station that we are always listening to in the car and the songs that we dance to (well when we’re not dancing to Elmo or Sesame Street theme song).  K-Love has been an outlet for my bad days, blessings, and a place where I cry thinking about the heartaches that those I love have endured here on Earth.  I love that you and I can listen to songs and stories on K-Love and together get to know our Christ better.  Music is a special gift He gave us.  Although I have no musical talent but to listen to it – you on the other hand have some opportunity in the gene pool.  I love that I know more songs on Sundays at Church and I love that God allows me to hear a song and let the abundance of blessings I have come right out my eye balls.  You are one of those abundant blessings – everyday you bless me more and more (well some days you help me count the blessings of being a working mom away from home).  Let the light of Christ shine in your heart forever, you’re His child on loan to me and dad – and it’s wonderful!  I love you Tuckey-Tot!!
 
mom




Karma…the ultimate parenting kick in the a$$or

30 04 2012

I can’t count how many times I have judged someone for a parenting choice they made before I had Tucker.  Maybe a million, or a jillion times I said, “When we have kids I’m never gonna do ________”  or “my kids will be looking good all the time, they won’t have snot dripping or googey hair and their clothes will match when we go out in public.”

Man almighty, I can’t even tell you how many times these words have bit my butt in the last 16 months.  It really hit me when I was volunteering at a Little Warriors Event and I saw a little boy (maybe 4) running around in cowboy boots, a baseball cap, plaid shorts, a superhero t-shirt and a weird belt.  Pre-Tucker I would have raised my eyebrows at the parents and commented that OUR child will never leave the house like that…fast forward to now – I wouldn’t say that, and now I think “she picks her battles and this obviously isn’t one of them.”  I’m really working on not judging but watching.  Although my current battles are not what Tucker is going to wear, but more so what he cannot have, he cannot have the remote or knives or our glasses full of liquids.  He cannot watch ELMO 24 hours a day, he cannot climb on the dishwasher door, he cannot hit the dog and he cannot have cookies for every meal.  These are my battles I face daily (well we (Eric, the babysitter and grandparents depending on the day) face daily).  I hope that someday a mom can look at my kid dressed array, or eating cookies, and realize that wasn’t the battle I chose today.

Although there comes a point where I have to choose the battle that Eric and I deem important.  I got a daily parenting tip from one of my favorite websites iMOM.  Inconvenience the Price of Good Parenting.  I feel like enough homage cannot be paid to my parents…I never paid it growing up, but I never knew how smart they were until I was a grown up.  They didn’t do everything right all the time, but they chose their battles, and battled each of us as a united front.  We also grew up in a very close knit family – our whole family.  Here is a picture of us – heading out on our second Disney family vacation and our first Disney Cruise.  I’ll never forget that trip, I had spaghetti every night, and Giuseppe cut it up so fast and so cool, I just had to see it done again and again.  And yes that is me the ‘star’ in the front middle…I loved to be me!

Eric and I have talked about family trips in the future with the kids, Disney is a must, I loved Disney and I want our kids to have a life as wonderful as we both did.  I chatted with my mom and asked why we never did anything like a timeshare and more far distance family vacations, (we went up north to our family cottage every year and did Six Flags, and other things) and she very promptly explained that we we drove them nuts at home and local vacations fighting for much less money.  Why pay for something if we weren’t going to enjoy it, your father and I chose vacations that we enjoyed and you guys were you guys wherever we were – always at eachother’s throats.  She was right, a key point in my Maid of Honor speech at LeAnne’s wedding was about how there were at least 3 babysitters sitting in the audience who I can’t believe went on to have kids after babysitting for us (: hehe!

I ponder what my mom said, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s a pipe dream to think that this perfect little family we’re almost done creating can live happily ever after and enjoy wonderful family vacations together and they will be perfect angels and we’ll just float around loving our little perfect family vacations?  The reality is: Yes Patty that is a pipe dream…this is what your future holds:

Reality, karma, they’ll never stop kicking my butt – but if they did, what would I blog about?  Here’s to choosing our battles and planning vacations that Eric and I enjoy – and hoping that our enjoyment will spread to our kids the way it did for us.

Dear Tucker,
 
You sure are growing up fast!  Your dad I are learning everyday about how strong willed, determined, and smart you are.  Those darling brown eyes will only work on this tough mom for so much longer (:  I think I might be a mean mom, but my favorite face you make is your pouty one – the one you give me when you don’t get your way or you’re in bogey’s food again.  It’s the cutest little face with so much expression, I just can’t help but giggle…I need to work on tough love parenting!  You’re getting faster on your feet everyday, and although you have no idea what to think about this baby growing inside my tummy – you always get a big smile when someone asks you if you’re going to be a big brother.  I adore that smile too, that pure, sweet, contagious, effervescent smile – it’s contagious we can’t help but smile right back at you!  You’re a treasure to us, and we love you so much my little monster.  
mom




Vacation and my irrational fears.

2 02 2012

So as Eric would say, I was a bit, well, emotional about leaving for our trip to the Bahamas.  A trip that we as a happily married couple desperately needed.  Time away to remember why we are together, without having to discuss who will be driving before we go out, watching what we drink, or ‘discussing’ who will get up and take care of the baby or who’s turn it is to take out the dog.  We got a week of pampering, warm sunny weather, and  millions memories that we’ll never forget.

Before we left, for at least 4 months, when the trip was mentioned my pulse would race, and I’d have chest tightness, the thought of leaving my baby for an entire week was petrifying to me.  I felt guilty, I’m a full time working woman and mom, and I already feel like I don’t get enough time with Tucker, and to take 8 whole days off of work and not spend ANY of that time with him, well, made me feel awful.  And without even knowing – my feelings were being projected onto Eric, and he was feeling that I just didn’t want to getting away with him.  *BTW not the case at all*.  There didn’t seem to be much that I could do to subside these feelings and make Eric understand the maternal working mom in me.  I gave up and a week before we left I had our monthly church council meeting.  At the end we break up into groups and ask Jesus to help with something that we are struggling with in our lives, Pastor was in our group, and I asked for calmness about our upcoming trip and peace knowing that Tucker is well taken care of with my mom and dad and Eric’s mom and dad.  Pastor Jay said something that hit me and helped me to find peace, “Help Patty to see that the Union that You created between her and Eric is the most important because it was made in your eyes.”  I may be paraphrasing here, but he’s right, God created our union, and from that beautiful union created and sealed on February 24, 2007 – came Tucker, another one of God’s wonderful creations.  But he’ll be grown up someday and find a woman to share that union with that was created by God, and I hope he puts all he has into it, the way his dad, papa, and grandpa does.

So one of my fears is that we would leave and after 8 days come back and Tucker would look totally different, talk in full sentences, be running around, and I guess do so much that we would have missed.  Since he got so big, he wouldn’t remember that Mama is his favorite person in the world, and everything would just be different.  I am sure I am not the only parent to have these crazy irrational fears.

So 8 days in paradise, overindulging in food, alcohol, sun, water, fun and my husband we got home late and I HAD to wake up Tucker.  He didn’t look different, and he opened one eye, looked up at me, and said “mama?” a big smile and then a squeel, “MAMA!” he got right up and I swooped him up and gobbled all the kisses he attacked me with.  He was different, he learned a few new words and mannerisms, he wasn’t walking yet, and I was still his favorite.  It didn’t take long to get right back into the swing of things, but it was so much easier to do with a tan.  Our vacation that ended 8 days ago already feels like years ago and normal is back.  Everyday of our vacation from the moment we stepped on the grounds of Sandals Emerald Bay I got to forgot about being a mom, a dog owner, and became a wife, a book reader, a tanning beauty, a swimmer, and let loose.  I can’t imagine that when we do another trip away from Tucker, I won’t have some anxiety but it’s good to know that I can do it, I can have a great time with my husband and not feel the weight of mom guilt hang over me.  I am grateful that God gave us the financial and physical means to take a trip like this.  We are blessed.  Life is good.  Being a mom is great, but being a wife is amazing.

Dear Tucker,
 
I made it through leaving you, and you know what?  I’m a better mom for it.  I absolutely loved having time away with your dad, it’s something that we really needed to be a better mom and dad.  You had such a good week and your Granny and Papa and Grandma and Grandpa LOVED having you all to themselves.  Papa told me that they got to know you so much better and had such fun watching you learn all sorts of new things.  Grandma told me that you loved having sleepovers at the Bear’s house and you were such a good boy.  They both told me what a good sleeper you were for them.  I love that you’re such a good boy for them, now we will work on the good sleeper thing for mom and dad, you’re not bad but there’s always room for improvement.  (like going down better for naps).  We love you in spite of your reluctance to take 2 naps anymore.  You make me smile and make my heart melt Tuckey-roo.  I love you.  
 
mom